The StarStorm: Sector I

Ship

Name: StarStorm
Class: Kestral
Initial Weaponry: Artemis Rockets, Burst Laser II

Crew

Captain: Xin Xin (Human Female)
Engineer: Manon (Human Female)
Weapons: Ferry (Human Male, lucky bastard)

Black Box Recording

Stardate: 21.14.122612

Xin Xin: All systems nominal. Prepare for hyperspace jump. Manon, please plot our course.

Manon: Aye, Captain. We have two jump beacons available at this time. I suggest we head toward galactic "south."

Xin Xin: Very well, Lieutenant. All hands, prepare for hyperspace.

Stardate: 21.17.122612

Ferry: Captain! I'm detecting an ion signature off our port bow!

Xin Xin: I have eyes on it, Commander. It's a Rebel Rigger, and it's on an intercept course! Shields to full. Target shield bay with the Artemis, Commander!

Ferry: Aye, Captain!

Xin Xin: Lieutenant, keep engines at half power until the rockets take out their shields, then switch to full!

Manon: Aye, Captain!

Xin Xin: It's powering up its FTL drives. We can't let it go...! FIRE!

Ferry: Firing.... They're shields are down!  Burst lasers have partially destroyed their warp drive. Powering down Artemis rockets. Switching burst lasers to target their weapons systems.

Xin Xin: Excellent. Engineering, get those engines to full!

Manon: Aye, Captain, already done!

Ferry: Their weapons have been disabled, Captain. Redirecting fire to their engines.  One more volley should do it!

Xin Xin: Let's take them down!

Ferry: You're a valkyrie, Captain!

Xin Xin: Excuse me?

Ferry: I'm sorry, this is just so exciting!

Xin Xin: Well, keep your head, Commander. War is horror!

Ferry: Ahem.  Aye, Captain.  Two more hits!  They're breaking apart, Captain! And they never even made it past our shields.  Huzzah!

Manon: Uh... All systems nominal, Captain. Setting engines to half power.

Xin Xin: Thank you, Lieutenant. Commander, power down weapons. Were we able to salvage anything?

Ferry: Most assuredly, Captain. One missile, a drone part, and 22 tons of scrap metal.

Xin Xin: Excellent, stow it in the cargo bay.

Ferry: Aye, Captain.

Xin Xin: Lieutenant Manon, please plot out our next jump. While you're at it, I suggest we upgrade our reactor, so that we don't have to swap power between engines and weapons. Hopefully, we avoid any more patrols.

Manon: Aye, Captain. Plotting course toward the galactic core. I will make sure our reactor is upgraded before we come out of hyperspace.

Xin Xin: Thank you, Lieutenant. Coordinates entered, prepare for jump.

Stardate: 21.29.122612

Xin Xin: Oh, my.

Manon: Captain?

Xin Xin: We've arrived at a binary star system. It's quite beautiful. Sensors indicate no ships or hazards within the system. I think we should gather in the galley for some dinner and sight seeing.

Ferry: Why, that sounds like a fabulous idea, Captain!

Manon: Agreed!

Xin Xin: It's settled, then. We'll meet in the galley at 1900 hours.

[Time passes]

Xin Xin: Lieutenant, Commander, please, have a seat. The reclamator will have our food prepared in a few minutes.

Manon: Oh, you were right, Captain. A beautiful view.

Ferry: Ah, but it holds barely a candle to the binary stars that sit before me at this table!

Xin Xin: ...

Manon: ...

Ferry: I was... referring... to the... radiant beauty of the two of you.

Xin Xin: I... know... It's awk--

Manon: OH, LOOK, THE FOOD IS HERE.

[Sounds of eating]

Ferry: So, Captain... how is the bridge, these days? I'd love to join you up there, some time. Learn a little about piloting, perhaps...?

Xin Xin: I don't... think... that would be--

Ferry: The weapon's bay is very cold, you know.

Xin Xin: I really think--

Ferry: Perhaps the two of you would like to join me in my quarters, later?  There's something I simply need to show you.

Xin Xin: I... think I'd better get back to the bridge.

Manon: I'm setting the next jump on the remote unit from here, Captain. Coordinates should be ready for you by the time you get to the FTL controls.

Xin Xin: Ahem... Thank you, Lieutenant.  Good evening, Commander.

[Footsteps fade]

Ferry: But... we haven't... What about dessert?

Manon: Excuse me, Commander, I'd better get the drives spooled up.

[Footsteps fade]

Ferry: ... It's... it's just not fair...

Stardate: 21.45.122612

Ferry: Captain, I'm picking up a ship.

Xin Xin: Yes, Commander, we've been hailed. Pirate slavers, I'm afraid.  They're asking for a crew member for our freedom.

Manon: Really??

Xin Xin: Yes... Really... Hmm.........

Ferry: Uh.... You... you wouldn't...

Xin Xin: Well.........

Ferry: Not funny, Captain.

Xin Xin: Oh, all right. FIRE ALL WEAPONS!

Ferry: Mm.  So hot.

Xin Xin: Don't make me regret my decision.

Ferry: Firing weapons, Captain.

Ferry: Direct hit on their shields and weap-- We've been hit, Captain!  Fire in the starboard cargo bay!  And our shields have been ionized!

Xin Xin: Understood. Venting atmosphere in the cargo bay. Keep firing, Commander. Save missiles, if possible.

Ferry: Aye, Captain!  I love it when you take charge.

Manon: Uh... fire has been extinguished, Captain. Shields back online.

Xin Xin: Excellent... Shutting bay doors. Let's take them out.

Ferry: Mm, yeah.  Two more direct hits, Captain!

Xin Xin: They're hailing us to surrender. Offering to free a slave if we will cease fire. I'm agreeing to it. Better we save the slave than send him into the vacuum by continuing to attack these scum.

Ferry: Your graciousness stokes my virility, Captain! Let's save us a slave!

Manon: Are you serious!?

Xin Xin: Ignore him. Taking the freed slave on board now.

Berko: Greetings. I am designate Berko.

Xin Xin: An Engi!

Berko: How may this unit be of service?

Xin Xin: Hmm. Know your way around shield technology, Berko?

Berko: Affirmative. This unit has extensive knowledge of deflection technology.

Xin Xin: Off you go, then.  Mm.  I know it's a machine, but it does have a nice rear.

Ferry: What was that, Captain?

Xin Xin: Damn intercom button always gets stuck.  Nothing, Commander. Lieutenant, plot our next jump, please.

Manon: I... uh... yes, Captain. Jump plotted.

Stardate: 21.58.122612

Xin Xin: Looks like we have another bit of a breather, ladies and gentlemen. Just an empty ore refinery at this beacon.

Ferry: I've been saving a bottle of wine, if you ladies would like to--

Manon: Uh, well, the Captain and I were going to--

Xin Xin: I'm going to check on Berko. Make sure he's... um... it's settling in all right.

Berko: All systems nominal.

Xin Xin: Well, can't be too safe. Manon, plot the next jump. I'll be back on the bridge in half an hour.

Ferry: Manon, would you care to--

Manon: No.

Stardate: 22.12.122612

Ferry: I've got a ship on sensors, Captain. Looks like an automated sentry. It's quiet at the moment. So, you know, we could take a break in my quarters...

[Silence]

Ferry: Captain?

Xin Xin: Ahem... Yes.  I'm on my way.

Berko: Berko is unsure what to do with this "cigarette".

Xin Xin: Uh... whatever you want, Berko.  I'll... uh.... call you.

Ferry: Oh COME ON... Are you shitting me?

Manon: Captain, I think the sentry may have data on board we could use. Should we attempt to hack it?

Xin Xin: Mm.  I've been having good luck with robots, lately.  Let's give it a shot.

Manon: Uh.... okay... Captain.... Hacking the systems now.... Oh.  YES! Got it.  We now have an accurate map of this sector of space. Also, we've managed to make off with one of its missiles, a drone part, and 11 tons of scrap!

Xin Xin: I love it when a machine does what I want.

Ferry: Oh, COME ON!

Berko: Berko feels funny.

Manon: I think I threw up a little in my mouth.  Plotting the next jump, Captain. I'd make sure our weapons are live when we exit hyperspace. According to our upgraded map, there's a good chance we'll have company.

Xin Xin: Right. Call me when we're about to drop into normal space. BERKO! Ready room.  Now!

Manon: But.... we.... hold meetings in there....... :C

Stardate: 21.45.122612

Manon: We've come out of hyperspace, Captain. Looks like slavers are off our port bow.

Xin Xin: Oh, really?  Let's beat the crap out of them. Maybe we'll pick up another one of them Engi.

Slaver: We have laborers "for sale", Captain. We give you good deal!

Xin Xin: Fire all salvos.  I hate slavers!

Ferry: Yeah, yeah.  Firing all weapons.

Manon: We've been hit!  Aft port hull has ruptured!

Xin Xin: Get those weapons firing, Commander!  Berko, get your sweet ass down there, and see if you can patch that hull! Hopefully that mechanical body can do more than-- well... you know.

Manon: Oh, God.

Ferry: We've taken their shields down, and their weapon systems are partially offline. You're welcome.

Xin Xin: What the Hell's the matter with you, Commander? Fire another volley. Lasers, only.

Ferry: Whatever the fuck you want, Captain.

Xin Xin: Excuse me?

Ferry: I'm pressing the button.  What else do you want from me?

Xin Xin: Just take them down.

Berko: Repairs complete. Does Captain require servicing, as well?

Xin Xin: Not now, Berko!  One more volley!

Ferry: We've breached their hull and just killed a fuckload of people, Captain.

Xin Xin: What's the matter with you?

Ferry: I... I'm sorry, Captain.... I'm just.... I'm just.... so... Your jumpsuits are just so... tight.

Manon: We've salvaged some fuel, a drone part and 28 tons of scrap, Captain.

Xin Xin: Great.  Commander, get a hold of yourself. Nobody likes a pantywaist. BE A MAN!

Ferry: *sigh* Yes, Captain.  That's what I was trying to do before you got a robot.

Berko: Berko needs a cigarette.

Manon: Good, God. Next jump plotted, Captain.

Stardate: 22.57.122612

Manon: Civilian ship off the starboard bow, Captain. They're under attack by a Rebel drone! Should we intervene, Captain?

Xin Xin: Affirmative. Target the drone's weapons, Commander! Let's save our missiles for meatier prey.

Ferry: Your slanty eyes are so fucking hot.

Xin Xin: Don't make me send Berko down to crush your scrotum, Commander.

Ferry: Aye, Captain, firing lasers.

Manon: Environmental systems have been hit, Captain! Our O2 system is down!

Xin Xin: BERKO!  Get your sweet ass down there!

Berko: Affirmative.

Xin Xin: Take them out, Commander!

Ferry: I'm working on it!

Xin Xin: You're not doing a very good job.

Ferry: I'm sorry!  It's hard to focus with all the estrogen around!

Berko: Oxygen reclamators repaired. Returning to shield systems.

Xin Xin: Fuck. Fire a missile at their weapons bay. I don't want them getting another missile off.

Ferry: I need to get my missile off.

Manon: Commander!  Please!

Ferry: Firing missile.

Manon: Too late!  They've taken out our door system.

Xin Xin: Understood. It's not critical. We'll ignore it, for now.

Ferry: Got 'em. Their weapons are disabled.

Xin Xin: Excellent. Take them apart.

Ferry: Aye, Capt-- AAH!

Xin Xin: Report!

Ferry: Our weapons bay has been hit!  Repairing, now, but we still have enough operational for another volley of lasers.

Xin Xin: Good. Are you injured?

Ferry: Only a lit-- I mean... OWWWww! Y... yes... My missile is all bent out of shape! It could use some straightening out........

Manon: Oh, God.

Xin Xin: Just destroy that ship, please.

Ferry: ... aye, Captain. Ship destroyed.

Manon: We've salvaged 3 fuel, a drone part, and 11 tons of scrap.

Xin Xin: Understood. Contacting the civilian ship.

Civilian Ship: Thank you for aiding us, Captain! We could never have made it otherwise! However, our ship has been badly damaged. Could you drop us off at the station near the planet?

Xin Xin: Certainly, Captain. We'll come along side momentarily for the transfer.

Oni: Captain, we appreciate the rescue, but our destination is not the nearby station. Though we are Mantis, we wish to stay on and aid your crew, at least for a while, if you will have ussss.

Xin Xin: I don't know...

Ferry: Is it a female?  

Xin Xin: I can't tell.

Ferry: Fuck it, let 'em on.

Xin Xin: You heard the man, Mantis. Welcome aboard. Can you fix the doors?

Oni: We are called "Oni". No, we cannot fix the doors, but we shall learn.

Xin Xin: Very well. Berko will help.

Berko: Affirmative.

Xin Xin: Meet me in my quarters after you're done, Berko.

Berko: Berko get cigarettes?

Xin Xin: Yes, Berko. Berko get cigarettes.

Ferry: Manon, would you like to--

Manon: No.

Stardate: 23.16.122612

Xin Xin: What have we here?  Looks like a damaged tradeship.

Manon: They're hailing us. Seems they need scrap to repair their ship and willing to trade some wares.

Xin Xin: Stock up on weapons, Commander. We're low on missiles. And see about fixing up a bit of our hull. I don't think we'll need anything else from them, at the moment.

Ferry: Aye, Captain. Uh... Captain?

Xin Xin: Yes, Commander?

Ferry: Can you... uh.... can you see if they have anything for my "condition"?

Xin Xin: ... What condition?

Ferry: I think it's called "blue balls", Captain.

Xin Xin: For the love of--

Manon: Course laid in, Captain.

Stardate: 23.16.122612

Manon: Dropping into normal space in 3... 2..... 1.... All systems nominal.

Xin Xin: I'm picking up something.

Ferry: Holy crap. That's a fire bomb, Captain.

Xin Xin: Reel it in!  This calls for a celebration... Berko! My quarters!

Berko: My servos need oiling, Captain.

Xin Xin: Ooooh. 

Manon: I think I'm just going to shut off my com for the rest of the trip.

Ferry: Please. Just jump us out of this sector.

Manon: Plotting jump to Zoltan space.

[Sector Jump Initiated]